I go to Church.
I am born again virgin, and plan on saving myself for marriage this time.
When people come into the subway and sing, and I feel really annoyed that they are begging for money, I remember to be charitable, so instead of glaring at them angrily, I just listen to my ipod.
I'm trying, I really am trying. But one thing makes being Christian really, really, hard, and tests my patience every day.
I work with a bunch of nerds, and I hate them.
Usually, I go out and take a jog during lunch, but it's been too cold lately, so I've been forced to take my cammomile tea in the break room with everyone else. They were talking about one of those space shows from like, the 70s, and I tried my best to ignore them as I flipped through Cosmo.
I could tell something was up, cause all the sudden they started whispering to each other and breathing through their mouths even louder than usual. Finally, Miles, the ballsiest one of them all, got up the nerve to call my name. I stared at him. His voice faltered. "I have a question..." he said, as the others held their breath. I continued to stare at him.
"Would you rather A) Be able to teleport, B) Be able to be invisible, or C) Be the captain of the Starship Enterprise?"
You guys. YOU GUYS. I AM NOT. EVEN. KIDDING.
So I said "I really wish I could be invisible right now." and Miles said "So that's your answer? B?" and I said "I guess so." and they all burst out laughing. So I said "WHAT IS SO FUNNY?", and in between wheezes and snorts they said:
"WRONG answer! If you were the Captain of the Enterprise you would be able to be invisible AND it has its own teleportation device!"
And then they kept laughing.
It took every ounce of Christian Charity in me to keep from punching them in their reject, freakshow never-been-kissed faces.
It's not easy.
Ta.
Tressica
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