Tuesday, by Tressica

I was having a pretty rough day at work, and I emailed Carl to complain. By the time I got home, I just wanted to fall asleep to whatever movie was playing on Oxygen (probably You've Got Mail or The Holiday).

But then, Carl showed up with my FAVORITE food (hot broth), a dozen roses, and a SONG he wrote just for me. I want to record him singing it, but until I do, here are the lyrics:

Tressica

Tressica, Tressica

You're a perfect replica

Of a Barbie Doll.

And I'm Robert Duvall.

Tressica, Tressica

Sorta sounds like "Jessica"

But it starts with a "T"

And that's all right by me

(Bridge)

I'll buy you a diamond ring from Zales

We'll look at pale pink wedding veils

To match your pretty french tip nails

Cause God is in the small details!

Tressica, Tressica

Nothing else rhymes with "Tressica"

Cause you're so unique--

There's nothing to critique.

SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH, is that romantic or what?!?! I asked Carl if he meant that as an actual proposal, and he said no, but someday he DOES want to propose.

I was really touched by the nice gesture. Even if he did threaten to buy me a wedding ring from Zales. (Can you imagine????)

Ta!

Tressica

Monday, by Tressica

Ever since my conversion to Christianity about three months ago (well, re-conversion, I guess....I was technically always christian but I didn't really care before November), I've been trying to be a good girl.

I go to Church.

I am born again virgin, and plan on saving myself for marriage this time.

When people come into the subway and sing, and I feel really annoyed that they are begging for money, I remember to be charitable, so instead of glaring at them angrily, I just listen to my ipod.

I'm trying, I really am trying. But one thing makes being Christian really, really, hard, and tests my patience every day.

I work with a bunch of nerds, and I hate them.

Usually, I go out and take a jog during lunch, but it's been too cold lately, so I've been forced to take my cammomile tea in the break room with everyone else. They were talking about one of those space shows from like, the 70s, and I tried my best to ignore them as I flipped through Cosmo. 

I could tell something was up, cause all the sudden they started whispering to each other and breathing through their mouths even louder than usual. Finally, Miles, the ballsiest one of them all, got up the nerve to call my name. I stared at him. His voice faltered. "I have a question..." he said, as the others held their breath. I continued to stare at him.

"Would you rather A) Be able to teleport, B) Be able to be invisible, or C) Be the captain of the Starship Enterprise?"

You guys. YOU GUYS. I AM NOT. EVEN. KIDDING.

So I said "I really wish I could be invisible right now." and Miles said "So that's your answer? B?" and I said "I guess so." and they all burst out laughing. So I said "WHAT IS SO FUNNY?", and in between wheezes and snorts they said:

"WRONG answer! If you were the Captain of the Enterprise you would be able to be invisible AND it has its own teleportation device!"

And then they kept laughing.

It took every ounce of Christian Charity in me to keep from punching them in their reject, freakshow never-been-kissed faces.

It's not easy.

Ta.

Tressica

The Weekend, by Tressica

It was FREEZING in New York City this weekend, so I spent most of it indoors, sending Carl out for the occasional skim no-foam skinny chai latte or magazine. That really is the beauty of New York...never having to leave your apartment!

Saturday of course I had my model appointment in SoHo. Basically, I could have spared myself all the shopping I had done for an outfit, because they barely even noticed what I was wearing, they were so taken by my hair! I actually didn't do much modeling in the traditional sense...they just sent over an army of apprentices to style it. More often than not, I ended up looking like a blonde and skinny Amy Winehouse.

At the end of my session, the director of the Salon asked me if I ever considered donating my tresses (hee hee! TRESSES) to Locks of Love. I laughed. Hard. (Seriously though...why should you end up with BETTER hair than you had before, just because you got cancer?)

Sunday night we had a bunch of people over for Fellowship, which was nice and life-affirming. Afterwards, I made Carl get up and test his "Wii Fit Age" as sort of a party game. Everyone watched while Carl stood still as the board measured his Body Mass Index, weight, and general fitness to calculate his Wii Fit Age. Turns out, Carl is 63! Well, we all had a good laugh at that, and I think everyone left in a good mood.

Ughhhh I can't believe it's MONDAY already...back to work with the Geek Squad.

Ta!

Tressica

P.S. No, I do not work at Best Buy. (Can you imagine?)  The Geek Squad is just my name for the guys I work with. Oh, the stories I could tell....

Thursday, by Tressica

Well, it finally happened. I've been discovered by modeling agents.

I was waiting for the 6 at Grand Central and I noticed this guy kept staring at me. This is an annoying, if not unusual, daily occurance, so I didn't think much of it. When he started walking over, I mentally prepared to flash the purity ring that Carl has forced--no! Not forced! suggested.--I wear, which I can sometimes pass off as an engagement ring for really poor people.

He came up to me and before he could speak I said, as gently as I could "Sorry--not interested.", gave him a little smile and inched further down the platform. But then he gave me his BUSINESS card, and it turns out he works for a SALON and wants me to be a HAIR MODEL! (His frosted tips and perfectly placed man bangs made SO much more sense, retrorespectively.)

So, on Saturday Morning I'm going down to SoHo, and they're going to "style me". I wonder what that means?? I'm thinking I should maybe get a portfolio ready. Just in case they want to send me on any go-sees or something. Carl might have to play photographer for the day as I do a photoshoot, but he's gotten pretty good at that so I'm sure he won't mind. (We got my current Facebook profile shot after only about half a memory card!)

MORAL OF THE STORY: You never know who you might meet on the subway, so always always always deep-condition your hair.

Ta!

Tressica

Wednesday, By Tressica

You Guys: WHAT is the obsession with LOST? Ugh, all the skeezy guys I work with kept talking about it, and coming up to me and looking and their feet and saying "Hey Tressica, you excited for Lost tonight?" Uhm, NO?!?! Why would I be? That show is everything a televison show should NOT be: complicated, multi-layered, and BO-RING. Carl tried to get me to watch the first season and I practically had to take NOTES to keep track of what was going on. Finally, I just gave up. I'll stick to my Friends Dvds, thank you very much!

Also, today I got in trouble at work :-( :-( :-(. The lines were really busy today, and so I had to constantly put people on hold. So I thought "Now, Tressica, you know you were put on this earth to brighten people's day! What can you do to help these poor people on hold?". Our system is set up so that when customers are on hold, they are forced to listen to Pure Moods Music or something terrible. Once when I was calling in sick I had to listen to it, and it almost made me throw up. And I wasn't even sick to begin with! 

So ANYWAY, I just thought it would be nice to put on something a little more enjoyable. I mean, my boss is always going on and on about Client Relations, and improving the Client Experience. I think a lot of clients probably appreciated the playlist that I made, which was truly only the HIGHEST QUALITY Christian Rock. Ugh, what a hypocrite.

At least Carl made me feel better by talking about how it's refreshing to be with a good looking girlfriend. He sure knows how to cheer a girl up!!!

Ta!

Tressica

Tuesday, by Tressica

Today was a pretty good day because the inauguration was on, which means everyone at work was in the conference room watching the swearing in and I could read the Not Safe For Work stuff on perezhilton.com without getting into trouble. 

And then after work I went to treat myself to a mani pedi, but annoyingly Phuong wasn't available, so Phuong had to do it instead, and she just never does as good of a job as Phuong, depite Phuong's somewhat surly demeanor. 

After my manicure, Carl came over to watch television. One thing that is so great about my relationship with Carl is that we totally support each other 100%. Like all night, Carl kept saying how I should go on American Idol, and I kept telling Carl he would be an AMAZING contestant on The Biggest Loser. I know that as long as we stick together, Carl and I can achieve all of our dreams.

Carl fell asleep on my couch while watching Get Smart (the old fashioned tv show, not the Anne Hathaway movie). It broke my heart to wake him up, but I knew what he would say if I left him there, ("Tressy, just tell me---did you take advantage? Am I...Am I compromised?") 

I woke Carl up and we shook hands goodbye and then I deep conditioned my hair and read Cosmo and now i'm ready for bed!

Pretty good day.

Ta!

Tressica

EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my god, I am SO excited about having a BLOG. You guys!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is so cool. I can't really take the credit....it was Carl who suggested I get a blog so I can share my New York Adventures with the world. Did I find myself a keeper, or what???

So, basically, this blog is gonna be like Sex And The City! Except with no sex. Unless I find a way to squeeze some in.... 

JUST KIDDING, BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No, really, it's gonna be like a CHRISTIAN Sex and the City. I'll just focus on restaurants and manicures and stuff, without all that inappropriate crudity. So it'll be BETTER than the movie! I'm a total Samantha, btw!

Sooooo, this is supposed to be like a diary thing, right? I guess I'll fill you kittens in on what I did today!

11:00 am: Woke up. Made myself a Green Smoothie (Kale, Spinach, Asparagus, and a Granny Smith Apple for sweetness)

12:00 pm: Leave apartment to go to gym at Astor Place. Try not to make eye contact with any dirty NYU students. 

2:00 pm: Check thighs for cellulite in gym locker. Still none. 

2:10 pm: Leave gym, feeling invigorated. Splurge on a Camomile tea from Starbucks. Don't really drink it, but I just feel naked walking around the City without at Starbucks cup, you know?

2:30 pm: Greasy hipster knocks into me and spills his Think Coffee all over my Stella McCartney workout gear. God, I HATE the East Village, and will forever curse the realtor for not distinguishing between "UPPER East Side" and just "EAST side".

3:00 pm: Get text from THE EX. Delete it. I am with Carl now and he is sooooooo much better for me.

5:00 pm: Shower, blowout, and out the door, ready to meet Carl in the Meat-Packing district. SOOOOO excited that Babycakes picked up on my hints to make dinner reservations downtown!

5:30 pm: Am somewhat surprised to find that Carl has made reservations at Outback Steakhouse. But it isn't in Times Square, so I'm calling it a success!

8:30 pm: Carl and I go see "Paul Blart: Mall Cop". Carl LOVES it.

9:30 pm: Said goodnight to Carl and am snuggled in bed when I get another text from the Ex. Delete it.  Am sooooo much happier now that I'm a Christian and I'm with Carl!  

I really think that Carl and I make an amazing couple. (Are you reading this, baby? I do! You're my ROCK.) Sure, there are some bumps in the road, but as soon as I change myself a little bit for Carl, and he changes HIMSELF a little bit for me, then I KNOW, I just KNOW that we'll be together forever.

Before we found each other, Carl and I were both in really unhealthy relationships. We're just in such a good PLACE now.

Really, I couldn't be happier.

I am OVER THE MOON!

ECSTATIC!

So you might as well stop texting me, ex boyfriend.

TA!

-Tressica